Being a professional athlete isn't easy. Sure, they have money, ice-sculpture busts of themselves and free use of team whirlpool facilities for their extramarital liaisons. But they also have obnoxious fans, conniving groupies desperate to get pregnant and hardass coaches. Luckily, Drew Magary has written MEN WITH BALLS, the first handbook specifically for professional athletes. It includes tips on how to: recover from rookie hazing rituals like the 'Broomstick Olympics'; Showboat using classical pantomime techniques; respond to Internet rumours about your sexual inadequacies. Featuring (made-up) advice from notable sports figures and scores of sophomoric yet informative illustrations, MEN WITH BALLS is essential reading for any athlete who wants to avoid prison, paying child support, or playing in Utah.