Become a soldier in the war on terrorism--without having to leave the house--with this illustrated guide to patriotic protection. Answering questions like "Could I be dating a terrorist?," "Which minority groups should I be afraid of?," and "Where can I purchase bulletproof vests in children's sizes?," this humorous guide contains helpful advice to combat terrorism. A section for teens is also included, including topics like what to do at a party when one is invited to join in a terrorist attack, especially when all the cool kids are doing it. From getting up at different times every morning to confuse attackers to the final closet and under-the-bed check at night, these hilarious instructions will help readers keep their worst fears at bay.